Skating with the Stars?

Um..where to begin. First, an apology for my 2 month absence. I'm no longer ice monitoring, so things are a bit different. I will catch you up on the folks at the rink and how they did at regionals...but for now, lets talk about this mess "Skating with the Stars".

First, the only two stars involved in this program are Johnny Weir and Dick Button, both of whom are judges. I'm still not sure how they conned Button into doing this. Of the "Stars", I've only heard of Johnny Mosely and Vince Neil before, and I have NO idea who these "world class" skaters are. I think ABC might have gone a little low budget on this.

The rink is a small circle...so it's clear we arent' going to see any real skating. If there was any doubt we weren't going to see real skating, the commentator Tanith Belbin filled us in on what is required for this night. A side by side two foot spin (or they can do a one foot) and an Asisted one foot glide (aka a Spiral). For reference sakes, I start teaching two foot spins to basic 2/3 students and the one foot spin is in basic 5. The Spiral is also a basic skills skill. Essentially, the skills they are asking these "Stars" to do are the same skills we teach 6-7 year olds to do in a 6 week once-a-week 45 minute class period. They have had 5 weeks one on one with pros and coaches and choreographers. Gotta say, I'm not impressed. At all.

Brandon Michael Smith and Keauna McLauglin.

Who is this kid? Someone from the Disney channel. Keauna is a us bronze medalist in pairs. Skills: Forward cross over, gliding on two feet, holding an edge, lifting a pretty girl, 3 revolution one foot spin from a two foot entrance. One back cross over. Assisted one foot glide (i.e. a spiral with the partner helping hold him up). Seriously? Button says "Impressive Start and Spiffy Personality". Button nailed him on his horrible spiral position. Lauriann Gibson, a choreographer whp has never skated says it was amazing. And Johnny calls it a "solid first effort". I thought it was tolerable. At least there was some energy to the performance. Technical Merit scores LG: 6, JW: 5, DB: 5. Artistic Scores LG 7, JW: 7, DB: 6.  Total :36. My scores. Technical 4, Artistic 5.

Sean Young and Dennis Petukhov

Ok...Sean Young...Blade Runner, right? That was a long time ago. And the blade runner puns are already old...older than she is even. Dennis is a US pairs silver medalist who competed in Torino. I don't remember him, so he must not have done well. Sean used a chair in practice. We use chairs with toddlers on their first day. I have 2 year olds who have been skating less than a month who don't  use a chair. I have yet to see her actually skate. He's pulling her and she's gliding. This is like watching the end of the year recital at the rink, only less talented and less exciting. Seriously, no forward stroking, no cross overs, heck, I'm not even sure she even managed a swizzle. Dennis did all the work. Johnny was very nice to Sean, Lauriann is of course clueless to the world of skating. Button said she had stretched legs and pointed feet, but I didn't see it. I thought she looked sad and scared. Tanith calls the shoot the duck "beautiful". Technical Merit Scores: LG: 6, JW: 5, DB: 5. Artistic Scores: LG: 7, JW: 5, DB: 6. Total: 34. My Scores: Technical 3, Artistic 4.

Do you remember back in the 80's when they did "Circus of the Stars" and stars "learned' how to do circusy stuff and then basically tried not to die while performing? So far, this is sadder than that ever was. Apparently though, Johnny Weir is going to skate tonight, so that will make this whole thing worth watching. Thank god.

Johnny Mosley and Brooke Castille

Johnny is an olympic gold medalist in skiing, brooke is the 2007 US champion in pairs. The practice video of Johnny and Brooke shows some potential...Johnny actually seems to be able to skate. Brooke is the highest caliber skater in the skating cast.  Wow...ok so Johnny is actually skating and with some speed--doing cross overs even. Ooooh...he did a hop! So far, he has definitely done the best. He skated with way more power than the others have thusfar. Lauriann wants more "funk in the trunk". Button wants to see more ski technique and better posture. Johnny said he "terrorized the ice". Tanith does note that Johnny is carrying his weight in the partnership. He is actually skating, which is nice. Technical Scores: LG: 7, JW: 7, DB: 7. Artistic: LG: 6, JW: 6, DB: 7. Total: 40. My scores: Technical 5, Artistic 6.

Oh yay! A break in the crap. We get to see Johnny Weir Skate!!! A fantastic routine to Pokerface with great costuming and make up. Woohoo we get a USFS "Learn to Skate" Basic Skills plug.

Rebecca Budig and Fred Palascak

Rebecca is a soap opera "star" and Fred is a Sectional champion. Rebecca looks fantastic. I love her outfit.  She looks very graceful. She's actually skating. Her crossovers are good and her spiral position was lovely as waas her spin. She even did backwards crossovers. She did really well. Dick Button called her elegant and complimented her posture, which I agree with entirely. He wants to see stronger stroking, flow and edges. Johnny thought it was very hot and that she looked like a real skater, which I agree with as well.  Rebecca did compete as a child, so it makes a difference. Laurieann is still clueless. Tanith highlighted her flexibility and lifts. Scores: Technical Scores LG: 7, JW: 7, DB: 7. Artistic Scores: LJ: 8, JW: 8, DB: 8. Total: 45. My Scores: Technical 6, Artistic 7.

Vince Neil and Jennifer Wester

Vince skated as a child and won a competition. Jennifer won a Nebelhorn Trophy whatever that is. Jennifer's hair is a disaster, but of course so is Vince's. VInce is actually skating, but it's very slow, but at least he's doing crossovers and showing some ability to hold an edge. He also got almost 4 revolutions on his one foot spin, so that's fairly impressive, but for the most part he was pretty tentative and looked slightly drunk.  Johnny wanted the rock star and so did I. Laurieann is clueless still...and wanted them to spot, which is NOT right. You don't spot when spinning as a skater. dumbass. Dick Button is giving him some credit, so that's nice of him. He wants more fearlessness. "Any man who is afraid to make a mistake will never make anything". Tanith was complimentary during her commentary. Scores: Technical LG: 6, JW:4, DB: 4. Artistic Scores: LG: 6, JW: 4, DB: 4. Total 28. My scores: Technical 5, Artistic 4. He was MUCH better than Sean Young and deserves a bit of credit for actually skating which Sean did not do at all.

Bethenny Frankel and Ethan Burgess

Bethenny is one of the housewives from one of the real houswives of some important city. Ethan is a bronze medalist at US championships and did the stunt skating for Blades of Glory. Bethenny is really scary looking.  She's apparently skated before and is shown in warm up wearing a little warm up skirt. She's kind of obnoxious. Well...not kind of. She's very obnoxious. So far, she's doing very little work in the program. Ethan is doing all of the work and hs'es just a long for the ride, but at least she's skating a bit. I think I saw an almost-cross-over or two, but mostly she's just "marching" on the ice. I did see a 3-turn, which was the most difficult thing she did this eve. The program moved slowly though. Laurieann is an idiot. I think she needs to go away. Dick complimented her figure, but called her static and told her to work on her flow. Johnny called her body "sick", but that she needed to push harder and not have thsi as a part time project. Tanith complimented the lifts. Scores: Technical Scores: LG: 5, JW: 5, DB: 5. Artistic Scores: LG: 5, JW: 4, DB: 5. Total Score: 29. My Scores. Technical 5, Artistic 4.

I'm not going to vote. I'm not wasting my time, but if I were to vote, I'd vote for Johnny Mosley or Rebecca Budig. All of the other contestants were not good. I think Sean Young or Vince Neil will be the first to go home unless they have a lot of fans who will be voting, however, my guess is that ratings are going to be bad for this show as it for the most part stinks! Lauriann is a terrible judge. She has no concept of figure skating and therefore has no concept of how to judge. Again, Johnny Weir and Dick Button are the only redeeming factors in this show.